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😱 What Is The Fear Paradox?
Published about 1 year ago • 6 min read
Hey Reader,
Welcome back to Living Better—your happiness sidekick packed with actionable insights, captivating stories, and evidence-backed wisdom.
Right now, at this very moment, we all have something in our lives we are afraid to do, afraid to feel, or afraid to confront. But what would our lives look like if we traded comfort for fearlessness?
Today we’re exploring why facing our fears is a crucial component to a life well-lived, breaking down the fear paradox, and providing no-nonsense strategies for living like a total bad*ss.
According to science, humans have roamed the Earth for hundreds of thousands of years. Our strong survival instincts are primarily linked to our amygdala, the part of our brain that acts as a fear-processing hub allowing us to detect threats and avoid potential dangers.
But what if we told you the very thing responsible for our survival is also responsible for our lack of living?
While fear is a powerful and primitive tool integral to human survival, it is also the very function that can kill our dreams, opportunities, relationships, and, ultimately, our happiness when we let it run rampant in our lives. We’re calling this phenomenon the Fear Paradox.
Bonus Riddle:
Q: What let's live but also kills? A: Fear.
➣ What is the science behind facing our fears?
Exposure therapy is a highly successful form of cognitive behavioral therapy in which feelings of fear are reduced by exposing an individual to distressing or anxiety-inducing objects, activities, or situations in a safe environment.
In everyday life, this concept shows that confronting our fears isn't as risky or doomed to fail as we often believe. Instead, it's a scientifically-backed method to retrain our brains by quieting the fear neurons in our amygdala.
Quote
"How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it."
- Judy Blume
Strategies For Living Fearlessly
American author Zig Ziglar once said, 'F-E-A-R has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise.' If you're ready to rise, here are five strategies to get you started:
Self-Reflect: Ask yourself what you want in life, what's stopping you from taking action, and where your fears are stemming from. Understanding these fears is a crucial first step to cultivating a fearless attitude.
Start Small: Making major life changes can feel overwhelming. Start with facing small fears and work your way up to the big stuff. With each fear faced, you'll become more resilient and confident in your ability to overcome.
Consider Cons: Avoiding our fears is comfortable, but with that comfort comes loss. Take the time to write down all the cons of not facing your fear in question and keep them at the forefront of your mind.
Talk It Out: Being brave isn't about a lack of fear, but a willingness to face fears. By talking to a loved one (or professional), you can not only develop an action plan but make your fears feel more approachable by airing them out.
Reward Yourself: The scary thing about facing fears is not knowing the outcome of our actions or efforts. By planning rewards for yourself, you can mold a clearer, more positive future and entice yourself to keep moving forward.
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Your Fear Ladder Challenge
1) Take a few minutes to reflect on 5 fears you currently have in life, big or small.
2) Next, draw a ladder in the middle of the page.
3) On the left of the ladder, write down your 5 fears in order of biggest to smallest (the biggest fears should fall at the top and the smallest at the bottom).
4) On the right side of the ladder, jot down one major positive or benefit you can gain for facing each adjacent fear.
5) Face your fears, smallest to biggest, and slowly work your way up the ladder to happiness.
POLL: Which of the following is your biggest fear? Click to banish it from your life.
Dive into heartwarming stories and inspiring journeys from fellow Living Better members!
This week, we're highlighting Paige's sweet story:
"My biological parents were addicts and were heavily addicted to meth, alcohol, pills, cocaine, and many other drugs. I'm one of 5 children, though only my brother and I share the same mother.
My parents signed their rights away when we were babies, so we lived in foster homes temporarily until our father's sister—our aunt—and her kids got cleared to take us in.
Our aunt fell in love with my brother instantly so she adopted him. My aunt had two other sons and I was the first girl she had, but it didn't end up working out for a lot of reasons.
She met Mark, my soon-to-be father, at a donut shop and they became very close friends. He was single and absolutely adored me.
He was a big brother, coached baseball for many years, and also had a rough upbringing.
When social workers said I needed to be removed from the home, my aunt popped the question to Mark to adopt me, and without any hesitation he did just that.
I went from a broken home to where I felt unwanted and unloved to a home that was stable. My dad as a single parent played mom and dad and my best friend. He’s been my rock since day one.
I cannot thank him enough for taking me in. Being a single parent is difficult and I really appreciate all that he has done on his own to raise me.
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 45,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
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