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🤬 Ready To Relinquish Unnecessary Anger?
Published 3 months ago • 6 min read
Hey Reader,
Welcome back to Living Better—your trusted guide to finding peace, purpose, and happiness in our fast-paced world.
Have you ever experienced something so infuriating you were unable to shake your anger for days, weeks, months, or even years at a time?
If so, you probably endured (whether knowingly or unknowingly) the many long-term effects of anger including anxiety, headaches, high blood pressure, inflammation, reduced lung function, and sleep disturbance.
In this issue, we'll guide you towards reclaiming your well-deserved peace by relinquishing unnecessary anger from your life.
"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The Anger Epidemic
Anger can be a healthy emotion that leads to self-improvement, motivation, clarity, and healing. When unregulated, however, anger can have devastating effects on our wellbeing as well as the wellbeing of those within our circle.
According to studies conducted by the Mental Health Organization:
32% of people (1 in 3) have a close friend or family member who struggles to control their anger
12% of people (1 in 10) say they struggle to control their own anger
28% of people (1 in 4) worry about how angry they feel
20% of people (1 in 4) have ended at least one friendship or relationship because of how they behaved while angry
Ready to stop clouding your joy? Read on to learn 5 constructive methods for letting go of needless anger weighing you down.
On a scale of 1 to 5, how good are you at regulating your anger?
Buddha once said, "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Here are five strategies for releasing your hot coals, and kissing your toxic anger goodbye:
1. Use "I" Statements
When we're feeling angry, it's easy to point fingers or make brash statements that increase interpersonal tension. Reframing your statements, however, can encourage better understanding and problem-solving.
For example, instead of saying something like "You never clean up after yourself," you can say, "I feel stressed out when I have extra dishes to clean. How can we work together to resolve this issue?"
2. 90-Second Rule
Our brains undergo a 90-second chemical process when reacting to something in our environment. After this threshold, we have the power to choose whether or not we want to stay in that emotional loop or move on.
When you're feeling angry at someone or something, practice pausing for a minimum of 90 seconds. From there, you will have increased control over your emotions, actions, and reactions.
3. Identify Triggers
Anger is an emotion that can resurface indefinitely if we don't take the necessary time to understand its cause(s). Identifying triggers can help you communicate needs and boundaries as well as avoid unpleasant situations.
The next time you feel angry, take some time to reflect on what provoked this emotion. Next, ponder what feasible solutions you can implement while giving yourself permission to let go of what you cannot control.
4. Physical Activity
Moving your body is scientifically proven to reduce stress and anger. When you feel rage bubbling up, avoid taking your aggression out on yourself or others and consider engaging in physical activity to blow off some steam.
Whether a brisk walk, jog, or weight training, exercise can help alleviate anger by releasing endorphins, temporarily distracting you from your emotions, and improving control of your heart rate.
5. Verbalization
Anger isn't meant to be repressed. If you find your feelings of anger lingering for more than a few days, we recommend sharing your experiences with a trusted friend, partner, or professional.
Venting is a powerful tool for letting go of negative emotions. By verbalizing your feelings, you can gain validation, helpful perspectives, and insight on potential solutions.
Good Reads (Just For You!)
Explore our first-person stories from individuals overcoming deep-rooted anger towards their past and current circumstances.
MEET SYDNIE, the woman carjacked at gunpoint sharing her journey to forgiveness.
“I realized holding anger in my heart didn’t hurt them, it hurt me. The more anger I had in my heart, the less room I had for love..."
Dive into heartwarming stories and inspiring journeys from fellow Living Better members! This week, we're highlighting Melissa's touching story:
"Meet Quinten. On our way home, my son, Cannon, and I went to a Starbucks in Georgia.
While in line, Quinten started talking about basketball with my boys. And of course, the boys started complimenting his Jordan’s.
Quinten said, ‘You know boys, as you get older you will realize material things don’t mean that much.’
He then waited for us to get our order. He said to Cannon, ‘Do you really like my shoes?’ Cannon nodded BIG.
Quinten took off the shoes and handed them to Cannon. Of course I said, ‘No. Please don’t.’ But nothing I said mattered. Quinten smiled and walked out of the store in his socks!!!
This is my prayer as a boy mom: Be like Quinten! Kindness changes the world. The boys will never ever forget what Quinten did. They experienced something so special!
I am forever thankful for the whole experience and the teaching."
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