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🏃 How To Escape The Cycle Of Never Enough
Published 7 months ago • 6 min read
Hey Reader,
Welcome back to Living Better—your happiness sidekick packed with actionable insights, captivating stories, and evidence-backed wisdom.
Have you ever achieved something in life you longed for, only to find fleeting satisfaction?
You’re not alone. In fact, this phenomenon has a name; it's called the Hedonic Treadmill—the endless cycle of wanting more and never feeling enough.
Today, we'll explore how we can hop off this treadmill and find lasting joy in life's simpler aspects.
The Hedonic Treadmill, a term in positive psychology, refers to our remarkable ability to return to a baseline level of happiness, regardless of what happens to us. It’s like running on a treadmill: constantly moving but staying in the same place, happiness-wise.
➣ What does the Hedonic Treadmill look like in real life?
We often believe that achieving certain goals (a promotion, buying a house, a new car, etc.) will make us happier. However, the joy usually fades, and we’re left seeking the next thing. Beyond possessions or accolades, even significant life changes like a new job or relationship can lose their initial luster.
Read on to learn how to embrace the concept of ‘enough’ and find contentment in your current circumstances.
Quote
"Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have."
- Rabbi Hyman Schachtel
Breaking The Cycle: Strategies For Lasting Happiness
The key to lasting happiness isn't acquiring more but appreciating what we already have. Here’s how we can step off the Hedonic Treadmill and start savoring life’s simple pleasures:
Deep Gratitude Practice: Go beyond the usual gratitude list. Reflect on why you're thankful for each item. This deeper practice strengthens neural pathways associated with long-term contentment.
Find Joy In The Ordinary: There’s beauty in the everyday—a coffee with a friend, a walk in the park, a good book. Hold onto the feelings from a pleasant moment and revisit them throughout the day.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand it's okay to strive for goals, but they shouldn’t be your only source of happiness. Balance ambition with contentment.
Cultivate Mindfulness: Regular mindfulness or meditation practice can rewire your brain to appreciate current experiences, reducing the constant chase for more.
Invest In Experiences: Studies show that experiences bring more lasting happiness than material possessions. Plan a trip, learn a new skill, or attend a workshop.
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Your Happiness Challenge
This week, identify one area in life in which you’ve been on the Hedonic Treadmill. It could be constantly checking your phone for social media updates, shopping for things you don’t need, or endlessly chasing career goals. Take a conscious step to appreciate what you currently have in this area. Reflect on how this shift impacts your happiness.
Dive into heartwarming stories and inspiring journeys from fellow Living Better members!
This week, we're highlighting Lucy's sweet story:
"I went to the adventure park this morning with my son. It's one of our few safe places because nobody is usually there, so my son isn't very anxious.
He always enjoys running up and down the sand dunes others have built, and each time he does I think about the kids that put so much effort into building them. I feel guilty that my boy loves watching them crumble...
Today it was just my son and I for a minute before numerous bikes and little men arrived. My anxiety was immediately present, and I was trying to encourage my son to get off so the other boys could use the dunes.
(My boy was holding a feather duster by the way. It's his favorite stim right now.)
I quickly apologized and explained my son has autism and is non-verbal. Before I could finish explaining, all the boys reassured me it was fine, they love rebuilding the dunes, and that Rory should stay.
Over the next half hour each boy interacted with my son, asked me about him, and kept encouraging him.
One boy who was wearing an orange shirt asked me if my son Rory had a bike. I said yes but that he is unable to ride it yet.
The boy told me to bring his bike next time. He said my son might give it a try if he watches them. 'I think he would like it,' he added.
Behind my sunglasses, my eyes were filled with tears, and my heart was full of faith.
It's moments like this that help educate our future leaders about people living with a disability, which cannot always be seen.
When we left, I thanked the boys for letting Rory continue running up and down the dunes and for being so kind and accepting of him.
Again, they were all lovely and said they were looking forward to hanging out with him again soon.
Walking home, I noticed my son was smiling and happy. As was I.
From a mom who also has a lovely little boy, who carries a feather duster, thank your lovely boys for me."
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 45,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
5X Entrepreneur, 6 X Bestselling Author, Top 1% Podcast Host
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