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🌼 How To Be Happy With Your Imperfect Life
Published 12 months ago • 4 min read
Hey Reader,
Welcome back to Living Better—your ultimate guide to living a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
Did you know many of the world’s natural wonders, including waterfalls, caves, geysers, mountains, and hot springs, were all formed due to imperfections in the earth’s crust?
Everywhere we look, nature seems to reveal how beautiful imperfection is. So, why is it that we struggle so much with finding beauty in our own imperfections?
Join us today in exploring the plight of perfectionism, and actionable strategies for finding peace with our perfectly imperfect lives.
"Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we're all in this together.”
- Brené Brown
The Plight Of Perfectionism
In psychology, the perfectionist is defined by their tendency towards unreasonably high standards, overly critical self-evaluations, and relentless pursuit of flawlessness.
While perfectionism is not listed as a mental illness in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), it is considered a personality trait, linked to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and OCD, that can cause great distress.
Here's how it shows up in real life:
Chronic Stress: Extreme pressure to meet unrealistic standards can cause a constant state of worry and hyper-fixation on perceived flaws and weaknesses, ultimately leading to burnout.
Fear Of Failure: When we place high importance on perfection, we are more likely to avoid taking chances and risks with the capacity to bring about positive change in our lives.
Strained Relationships: When we normalize thoughts like "I would be better, more desirable, more successful if only I did [x]," we tend to unknowingly place similar judgements or pressures onto others.
Like Kintsugi, the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the cracked areas with gold lacquer, we too can find deep beauty and transformation in our own imperfections. Here are five ways to get started:
Connect With Others Like You: Instead of wasting energy on hating your flaws or shortcomings, find others who share a similar journey or trait as you. What insights can you gain from them? How can perceiving others like you transform your thoughts and beliefs?
Intercept Your Comparisons: Whenever you catch yourself comparing your body, success, or life to someone else, practice saying aloud or in your head: "I'm comparing. Comparing will get me nowhere. Comparison is the thief of joy." Repeat as necessary.
Reframe Your Negative Thoughts: Challenge yourself to find the positive side of your imperfections. That scar you hate? It's a reminder of the work your body did to heal you. Those stretch marks on your belly? They brought a child into this world, and that is miraculous!
Accept Compliments: It takes some sun to dry up all the rain. No matter how uncomfortable it may feel at first, resist the urge to reject compliments from others. Furthermore, practice regularly complimenting yourself or using positive affirmations.
Set Realistic Standards For Yourself: Understand you are human just like anyone else, with only one life to live.If you don't expect perfection from your friends, family, or loved ones, remind yourself to apply the same rule to yourself as you do for others.
Community Spotlight
Dive into heartwarming stories and inspiring journeys from fellow Living Better members! This week, we're highlighting Hollie's touching story:
"Today while in a checkout line, a little girl about 6 years old pointed to me and asked her mom, 'Why does that lady have hairy armpits like daddy?'
The mom, clearly very embarrassed, turned bright red and was at a loss for words.
I spoke up, "I can answer that question if you'd like. I'm in NO way insulted!" The mom replied, "I'm so sorry, please do!"
I looked at the little girl and said, "Every adult, male or female, has hairy armpits. I used to shave, but I realized I'm proud of my normal body and I stopped shaving."
The little girl smiled and said, 'Mom, I am going to be just like her when I grow up!'
The mom turned to me and said, 'I never really thought about what message I was sending my daughter. Thank you SO much for this!' She appeared to tear up.
It was a pretty profound interaction if you ask me, and I hope this story inspires others to embrace their natural bodies."
Designer, bestselling author, and founder of the School of Joy. I help people find more joy in life and work through design. Join more than 45,000 readers who receive our weekly treasure trove of science-backed tips, delightful discoveries, and inspiration for living a better life.
Your ultimate guide for captivating personal stories, actionable insights, and evidence-backed advice, propelling you toward a meaningful life. Join our community of 200,000+ readers!
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