Your ultimate guide for captivating personal stories, actionable insights, and evidence-backed advice, propelling you toward a meaningful life. Join our community of 200,000+ readers!
❌ How To Avoid The "New Year's Trap"
|
Hey Reader, Welcome back to Living Better—your ultimate guide for living more meaningfully. Have you ever made ambitious goals for yourself in the New Year, only to find you’ve completely given up on them just a month or two in? Maybe you started on that new business idea but somehow things fizzled out. Maybe you joined a gym to lose those 60 pounds but stopped going entirely. Or maybe your home renovation tools that were once making magic happen started to collect dust. This is what we’re calling the "New Year’s Trap." When we set too many goals or goals too grandiose in the New Year, and the glimmer of hope and inspiration that blanketed us on the first of January washes away, we're stuck with the realization that big change is not only hard, but intimidating. We've all heard the sayings "think big" and "dream big," but what would our lives look like if we instead focused on the power of small, consistent changes? Today we'll dive into the think-small technique for setting goals and explore 10 small but mighty habits that will make 2024 your best year yet. Today's Sneak Peek...
Long-Form ReadsWhy You Should Start Thinking SmallThe think-small technique is the practice of reframing big dreams into smaller, more feasible goals. Thinking small is not about selling yourself or your dreams short, but refraining from creating unrealistic or intimidating goals. After all, working towards small goals is not only less frightening and more achievable, but can lead to big changes in the end with enough consistency. To avoid the New Year's Trap, challenge yourself to dial back when setting goals this year to ensure they all pass the 'think small' test. Wondering what the difference between thinking big and thinking small actually looks like? Here's some examples to break it all down: Thinking Big: I'm going to start a successful 6-figure business by the end of the year and pay off all my debt. Thinking Small: I'm going to start building a business and keep going despite the setbacks I may face. Thinking Big: I'm going to get in the best shape of my life and lose 60 pounds by the start of the summer. Thinking Small: I'm going to find time, no matter how much or how little, to go to the gym each week. Thinking Big: I'm going to complete all my home renovations this year and finally have the house of my dreams. Thinking Small: I'm going to carve out a few days each month to dedicate to making progress on home renovations. Notice the difference? You already have what it takes to achieve your goals; think small, take things day by day, and watch how your progress blossoms. Quote10 Small Habits That Will Transform Your LifeIn addition to setting smaller, more realistic goals for yourself this year, implementing small wellness changes can help you become the best and most fulfilled version of yourself. Here are ten small but powerful habits you can start this year, no matter who or where you are: 1. Start A Gratitude Jar Once a week write down a positive thing, big or small, that happened to you on a piece of paper and throw it into a mason jar. It could be a small achievement you made, a fond new memory, words of kindness you received, etc. Open the jar at the end of 2024 and read them all. 2. Employ A "Life Is Short" Mentality If you were told today was your last day on Earth, I'll bet there's a few things you'd regret or wish you did. This 2024, remind yourself just how short and precious life is and ask yourself daily, "What can I do to make my time here count?" Hold those goals and values close to your heart. 3. Microunplug We've all seen the articles about the dangers of excessive screen time. If throwing your phone in a box and living off the grid is as unrealistic as it sounds, challenge yourself to microunplug. Whether going phoneless one day a week, challenging yourself to not bring your phone with you into every room, checking your phone only once a day, or setting time limits for social media apps in your phone settings, find what works for you and stick with it. 4. Set Aside In-Body Time It's no secret life can be noisy, chaotic, and overwhelming. Whether early morning, mid-day, or late at night, spend just 5 minutes a day stretching your body, breathing with your eyes closed, or going on a short walk simply to take in the sights, sounds, and smells of your surroundings. Seriously. Your mind and body will thank you. 5. Give Love Freely Love truly makes the world go round. Don't let your friends, family, or loved ones go a week without knowing how much you care; after all, we never know how many days we have left with them. Have more heart-to-hearts, prioritize time with loved ones, share compassion, and open your heart to receive more love. 6. Practice Active Thought Distancing It can be tough not believing the negative voice in your head, but thought distancing can help. For example, if the thought "I'm not good enough" emerges, practice saying aloud or in your head, "I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough." Then say, "I'm having the thought that I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough." Repeat as many times as necessary until you realize "I'm not good enough" is just that...a thought, not a fact. 7. Use The 4-7-8 Method Breathing is the very function that keeps us alive, but there is more to it than the simple in-and-out technique. When you're feeling anxious, angry, restless, or overwhelmed, breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and blow out from your mouth for 8 seconds to calm your nervous system. Repeat multiple times until you feel better. 8. Replace Restricting With Nourishing The problem with many diets is that they are built upon a 'just say no' framework, focusing far too much attention on what to restrict or take away from your diet and not enough on what you can add to make it more nutritious. Whether a fruit, vegetable, nut, seed, whole grain, or tall glass of water, try adding just one thing a day to your diet that will nourish your body and build from there, indulging in treats in moderation from time to time. 9. Compete With Yourself, Not Others A wise man once said, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Whenever you find yourself falling into the trap of comparing yourself to someone else's appearance, achievements, or life, repeat this simple phrase: "I am not them. They are not me." Remember you cannot compare two different journeys, and no one can be the best you but you. 10. Try Something Totally New Always wanted to learn about cars? Always wanted to learn how to knit? Always wanted to go on a challenging hike? There is no such thing as failing when you try things for the sake of your happiness and curiosity. Take the leap; you're utterly and undoubtedly worth it! POLL: Which affirmation will you be taking with you this year?1. "I am capable and worthy of my goals..." Community SpotlightThis week, we're highlighting Kristi's powerful story: "I walked out of jail on day one of my sobriety journey physically shaking, humiliated, angry, unstable, underweight, separated from my husband, and seriously scared. So incredibly scared.
Scared to drink. Scared to start over. Scared to be sober. Scared to fail. Scared to go to rehab. Scared to get honest about my life. Scared of facing my family, friends, and neighbors. The most scared to face my true self.
But I was sick of excuses. Sick of the silent treatment. Sick of parenting alone. Sick of saying I’m sorry, genuinely meaning it, and somehow screwing up again.
I was sick of drinking. Sick of thinking about drinking. Sick of the lies rolling off my tongue like the truth once had. Sick of the dual life. Of managing the impossibility of moderation.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
We hired a full-time nanny, and I packed a suitcase and kissed my 4 kids goodbye for 60 days. I went to a dual diagnosis residential treatment center.
It has taken weekly talk therapy, sobriety support groups (AA, She Recovers, The Luckiest Club to name a few), ugly crying, journaling, getting honest, getting even more honest, and doing something about it.
It has taken learning how to slow down. To keep it simple.
It has taken facing things head on. Saying no to others to say yes to myself. Doing the next right thing.
It has taken yoga. Meditation. Manifestation.
Mostly, its taken trusting myself, listening to intuition, and believing the best is yet to be.
Sobriety has allowed me to rediscover my creativity, to take the high road, to let things go, to experience moments of serenity, to take risks, to be fully present, to deeply understand my children, to dream bigger, to stay honest, to get healthy, to forever be a messenger of resilience, happiness, and hope.
At day 1,654 days sober, I am living my life with integrity, purpose, and passion. I’m responsible, reliable, and as real as they come. You got this!"
- Kristi Tanner, Living Better subscriber
Until next time, live well. Like what you see? Refer a loved one to join our ever-growing community of over 210,000+ avid readers.
What are you loving from us? What do you want to see more or less of? We want to hear from YOU! © 2023 Love What Matters |
Living Better
Your ultimate guide for captivating personal stories, actionable insights, and evidence-backed advice, propelling you toward a meaningful life. Join our community of 200,000+ readers!
Hey Reader, Welcome back to Living Better—your trusted guide to finding peace, purpose, and happiness in our fast-paced world. Has balancing life's many responsibilities ever felt a bit like juggling flaming chainsaws? If so, not to worry! Today we're breaking down the Four Burners Theory to help you master the art of strategic sacrifice. "You can do anything, but not everything." - David Allen The Four Burners Theory To understand the Four Burners Theory, you must first picture your life as...
Hey Reader, Welcome back to Living Better—your trusted guide to finding peace, purpose, and happiness in our fast-paced world. Have you ever experienced something so infuriating you were unable to shake your anger for days, weeks, months, or even years at a time? If so, you probably endured (whether knowingly or unknowingly) the many long-term effects of anger including anxiety, headaches, high blood pressure, inflammation, reduced lung function, and sleep disturbance. In this issue, we'll...
Hey Reader, Welcome back to Living Better—your trusted guide to finding peace, purpose, and happiness in our fast-paced world. In a world obsessed with quick wins and instant gratification, the true secret to success often goes unnoticed: consistency. Talent might set the stage, but it’s the daily, unglamorous grind—the relentless commitment to showing up—that creates lasting results. But what is consistency made of and how can we ensure it keeps showing up? "Success is the sum of small...